Well. You’ve probably figured by now that I’m a perfectionist.
Now that we’ve covered that I am a perfectionist, the rest of this post will probably make more sense.
As a perfectionist, legalism is something I struggle with. I want to do everything right. All the time.
Ah. Mary Poppins. Sadly, however, I do not do everything perfectly. And this…sort of drives me crazy. Especially in my relationship with God.
If I don’t read my Bible in the morning, forget to read Scripture altogether, or neglect any sort of devotional reading…it’s instant guilt.
My mind whispers…you must be a terrible Christian. What kind of Christian doesn’t read their Bible every single day? Or forgets to read it?
Yep. Good ‘ole perfectionism. Constantly lurking in the back of my brain.
Logically, I “know” what God’s grace means. We’re no longer under condemnation. Ephesians 2:8 says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”
Heck, Romans 11:6 takes it a step further, saying, “But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.”
And my brain is all like…
I can’t wrap my mind around the fact of grace. In the world we live in, the grace that Jesus offers doesn’t exist. And adding my naturally perfectionist nature to that, my reaction is more or less…
Recently, I was heavily feeling that perfectionist, legalist guilt. I had not read my Bible in the morning three days in a row – *gasp*
And then I saw this, scrolling through Instagram one of those nights.
Cue me staring at that for several seconds like a deer in the headlights.
Well. God couldn’t have gotten clearer. He may as well have painted it in neon colors: LET MY GRACE BE ENOUGH.
I’m literally blanking on what to write after that. I think that was the message that God wanted me to share with y’all. So my fellow perfectionists, as we battle the enemy of perfection, let’s remember God’s wondrous grace and that we no longer have to fear his reaction if we mess up.
Jesus died for that. His blood covers all of our screw ups: little, small, and big.
I’m not saying it’s easy. Heck, I know half the time I’m still thinking ‘oh crap, I just thought/did this. How is God going to punish me?’
And that’s totally not how He wants me to think. Sure, there are consequences. But as Amy Carroll said in Breaking Up with Perfect (a book I’m currently reading), one of the lies of perfectionism is that, “God is a taskmaster who rations out love in measure with our output.”
That, of course, is not true at all. God is not a taskmaster. He will love us regardless of whether or not we are “perfect” and have everything “together.”
As we go into this weekend, I hope we can all remember to accept the grace that God so readily gives!
~ Southern Dreamer