For my creative writing class, we had to write the next chapter of one of our classmate’s books. I decided to do Gianna’s (check out her blog here!). I hope I did her wonderful story justice 🙂
Dear Dancers Diary,
NYC has been so much fun! I could have never imagined all of the new and exciting things I would get to do! They don’t call it the city that never sleeps for nothing, haha. All of my friends here have been really cool, they’ve taught me a ton! I guess I was pretty sheltered before.
I went home this weekend, which I was pretty nervous about. Even though I know my family means the best, they just don’t understand that this is the new and better me. I’m healthier and actually experiencing some exciting things in my life. Although, in all honesty, those green shakes that my friend keeps giving me, taste disgusting. But, it’s important that I’m in the best shape possible as a dancer, so I’ll push through it.
Anyway, when I did get home, like most mother’s, my mom was…way overly excited and freaked out. Apparently, I’m losing ‘too much weight’ and am ‘dangerously thin.’ She watched me all day, making sure I ate something at every meal. I’m really going to have to make up for it when I get back – if not before. I can’t take any chances with this.
As my mom got on her rant, my dad boarded that ship as well. You can imagine my frustration diary! They’re supposed to be happy for me – I’m finally reaching my full potential! And when I tried to explain that I was full, she just gave me the look. I may have had a yelling match with them, they just don’t understand.
Sunday came around and I winced, remembering that I was going to have to go to church today. Not that I dislike church, or anything like that, but really, so early in the morning? Nevertheless, I pulled on one of my fancy dresses that I haven’t worn in weeks. It had always been one of my favorites, so I was pretty excited to try it on. For some reason, it doesn’t fit me anymore. Even though I was sad about not being able to wear it anymore (well, after today), I’m pumped that I’m losing weight!
Going to the service and seeing all of my old friends, I felt kind of like an oddball out. Everyone kept sending me concerned looks. Am I still not pretty enough? Or good enough? I would have thought they would be at least semi-happy for me, but no.
God and I haven’t been on the best of terms lately, but I’ve been really busy and under a ton of stress, so I feel like He understands. The pastor began his sermon, and sheesh, can’t a girl catch a break? I swear he was looking at me the entire time. It was the longest hour of my entire life as this awful feeling kept rising up in me, going on about how I should not be hanging with my new friends and how I need to spend time with God more. Yeah, I ended up leaving early. Everyone’s always going on about how God is all love, so I really don’t think that He would put that kind of guilt on me – especially when He knows the pressure I’m already under.
I left a note for my family and quickly left to go back to NYC, where I belong.